If news about “Cash For Clunkers” or “Cash For Guzzlers” has you excited about trading in your current ride for a hybrid SUV or green car, you may be disappointed to learn more of the details. Last month, the Car Allowance Rebate System was signed into law, providing roughly $1 billion dollars in incentives for people willing to trade in their current vehicle for a new, more fuel-efficient option. Sounds great so far, wouldn’t you agree? Okay…so here’s the disappointing fine print, assuming this doesn’t get cancelled, suspended, or run out of money first.

 1. While the CARS Act officially went into effect on July 1, 2009 - specifics aren’t expected to be released until July 24th. Individuals might be wise to wait until that date to make sure they don’t miss out on some or all of cash credits.

2. Your car, truck, or SUV must be less than 25 years old. 2009-25=1984. If you are driving a late 70’s or early 80’s model car, it won’t qualify here.

3. The CARS Nazi will only give you credit on new vehicle purchases (or leases). That means if you buy a used hybrid SUV on ebaymotors.com, in the spirit of Seinfeld’s Soup Nazi episode, ”No Credit For You!”.

4. Your station wagon, rust bucket, or monster sport utility had better guzzle some serious gas. To be eligible (in most cases) it must be rated at 18 mpg or worse. You can use this site to check. Try this website to compare fuel economy for all new cars and 2009 models.

5. Your potential trade in must have been continuously registered and insured to the same owner for at least 12 months prior to the day you trade it in, and it has to be in drivable shape. That means you can’t push or tow it to the dealer, nor can you go out a buy a junker for $500 tomorrow and expect to trade it for a $3,500 to $4,500 federal credit. Won’t work.

6. The vehicle you are buying must have an MSRP of less than $45,000. That rules out green SUV’s like the hybrid Cadillac Escalade, the GMC Yukon hybrid and the Chevy Tahoe hybrid. Wasn’t that the point of this program?

One good bit of news is that you can combine the CARS Act credit with other state and federal incentives, including hybrid vehicle credits. Check hybrid tax credits to see if the vehicle you are considering still qualifies.

As you can see, there are lots of stipulations surrounding the Clunkers Act. While it seems like a good deal on the surface, and similar programs have worked well in other countries like Germany (a $6.5 billion dollar program) and Brazil, I don’t expect it to have a big impact before it expires here, slated for November 1, 2009. Maybe the program will improve and be extended, which could change how much it helps auto makers, car dealers, and end users.

Ultimately, the cash for clunkers and guzzlers law was designed to help people save money, reduce fuel costs, reduce greenhouse emissions, and reduce oil dependency. Hopefully the lawmakers will get their CARS Act together and also ”reduce restrictions” before this one is discontinued.

For those of you who are seriously considering getting rid of the car, truck, or SUV you are driving and replacing it with a brand new model, I would suggest you visit cars.gov by clicking here (not to be confused with cars.com). I’ll bet the folks at the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration were happy to discover that the abbreviation for Car Allowance Rebate System spelled C.A.R.S.! Sure beats the suggested alternative - Car Rebate Allowance Program.